What color does a Smurf turn if you choke it?
by BeckaBoo1735
Summary: Sam gets a little drunk and starts spouting how much he loves his brother and how much he regretted going to Stanford. My first attempt at humour so be kind! For Jay!


**I was bored out of my skull today, but luckily ****jayhaytch**** sent me some plot bunnies last night...this one made me chuckle, so I wrote it! It's sort of pointless, so enjoy! Thank you Jay for keeping me sane today! Love you! Mwah x **

_**Beta- **__**jayhaytch**_

**Summary: **Sam gets a little drunk and starts spouting how much he loves his brother and how much he regretted going to Stanford. For Jay!

**What color does a Smurf turn if you choke it?**

"Yo, Sammy, ready to go?" they'd been blowing off a bit of steam from the endless 3 months worth of hunts and it seems Sam needed to blow off more steam than even Dean, usually it was the little brother dragging the older one back to the motel and trying to avoid Dean's puke spillage on his shoes.

"This, this is my brother, Dean, his names Dean, he's my big brother, and he's always all the time like every second watching my back."

"Yeah that's great Sam, come on we gotta go, I think you've drank enough tonight."

"See, see what I mean, he's always doing that, most of the time I complain but he's like the best big brother, once I gave him a happy father's day card cos...our dad was MIA as usual, and he's like my dad and mom all rolled into one, only cos he's brother, he gets to call me names. He told me once only big brothers are allowed to call you names...I thought Billy Ranson was allowed cos Dean did but...Dean says bullies aren't nice...then I thought Dean was a bully but he told me that's just a big brother right...to call you names, you get me?"

"Uh Sam?" Dean asked yet again, trying not to bleed from his ears as he listened to Sam ramble on.

"Hang on Deeaaan, I'm talking to my friend!" Sam pouted slamming his glass on the bar before nodding to the woman for another. "I like totally ran off to Stanford once, like all the way all on my own and stuff cos me and dad had this big fight and I left and I was like really happy when Dean drove me to the bus stop...but then when I got there I turned to my left and started showing Dean where all my classes were gonna be...only he wasn't there."

Dean's heart stung just a little for his brother, he wanted to be there, he wanted to be there the first time Sam got his timetable, meeting his roommate, checking him out before giving his approval. But he couldn't do any of that, cos Sam left...cos dad kicked him out, and Sam said fine.

"You know what...I wished I would have never gone, it was like the stupidest thing I've ever done, I'm supposed to be smart, I got a full ride for being smart...but I'm not. If I wouldn't have gone, Jess would be alive, dad wouldn't have gone missing, we could look for the thing together, as a family, like mom would have wanted...Dean wouldn't have had to spend 2 years alone...sure he had dad but...I don't think he did most times, we never really had dad."

Sam was about to chug back another shot before Dean grabbed his wrist and stopped him. "Sam put that drink down, we're leaving."

He sounded mad, he wasn't...he was just as depressed as Sam about the whole situation, only it came out differently.

"He's not mad, he's just afraid of saying something bad about dad...cos he loves him, I mean I love him too but...I just think we're different." Sam wasn't taking a drink yet, he was just swishing the glass around in the air like some damn conductor.

"Sam that's enough man, we need to go."

"Hang on," he grumbled to his brother before turning back to the man next to him, "the first like month I was in my room alone, I couldn't sleep, it was weird, I always wanted a room of my own cos me and Dean always had to share in motels...but when I got my own it was waaayyy too quiet!"

"Yeah Sammy, and right now you are not, let's go," Dean grabbed his brothers arm and tried to pull him from the stool.

Sam took his arm back and carried on, "I used to put Baywatch on or some other Dean show cos in the motel I'd always fall asleep while he was watching some lame show...it was kinda like he was there...but then I got told off by the board cos my electic bill was through the roof...but it was okay cos Jess came along then...and sometimes we'd stay and watch stuff in her room until we moved in together...she always liked the Smurfs...Dean liked them too, he fancied Smurfette," Sam giggled then and only stopped when someone flicked his eye to get his attention. Dean was bright red and trying to hide his flattered smirk behind his hand as he looked to the floor and shook his head, Sammy sure knew how to flatter a guy and embarrass him in front of the whole bar at the same time.

"Sammy, that's...I'm really touched but I think we better go before you really start to say stuff you and I are both gonna regret in the morning."

"I'm still talking to my friend. I wanna tell him how awesome you are...m'big brother."

"Sam your _friend_ has been passed out face down on the bar in his own drool since your conversation started, let's face it, you won't be far behind him if you don't put that drink down and let me drag your ass back to the motel, now."

Sam sighed, put his drink down, then turned to let Dean put his arm over his shoulders and drag him off the stool.

"I have to go now...my brother's making me leave...but don't take it the wrong way, he's just looking out for me again," Sam drunkenly waved his '_friend'_ goodbye and left the bar giggling yet again.

"Hey...Dean?"

"Yeah Sammy?"

"I love ya big brother." Funny thing was, he almost sounded sober for a second.

"Yeah that's nice Sammy."

Dean got his brother in the car and shut the door behind him before getting into the driver's side.

"I love ya Dean, you're the best big brother ever."

"And you're not exactly the worst little brother. Bitch."

Sam laughed, that was Dean speak for I love you too.

"Jerk," Sam was giggling again...until he felt bile rise in his throat, before he knew it he was face down in the motel toilet puking the last 3 hours worth of beverages out of his stomach.

Dean was behind him, even though his nose was screwed up and his face turned away from the rank smell, he was offering comfort to his little brother rubbing a hand up and down his back and squeezing his shoulder.

"This feels weird," Sam moaned taking his head from the toilet and leaning against the back wall.

"What does?" Dean asked, slightly worried Sam drank something he shouldn't have.

"Isn't this usually the other way around?"

"I can hold my liquor Sammy, I've only ever done this once when I was 15, so no."

"I mean you're always the one getting drunk and I'm the designated driver."

"Well we all need to get hammered once in a while I guess, just don't do it too often okay college boy?" Dean regretted the mock the second it left his lips.

"M'sorry I left for stupid Stanford. I think it's the worst thing I've ever done."

"Come on man you don't mean that, you loved Stanford."

"I thought I did...love you and dad more...should have stayed."

"Well when we find dad, you should tell him that, might have to get a couple of drinks in you first though."

"M'sorry for what I said about dad...m'sorry I left you alone."

"It's okay Sammy, I did okay on my own, and dad was there most of the time."

"Don't care...m'still sorry, stupid Stanford."

"Yeah, Stanford is stupid," Dean chuckled.

"Hey Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"What color does a Smurf turn if you choke it?"

"I really don't have a clue," Dean laughed.

"Don't think anyone does," Sam chuckled back. "Smurfette was kinda hot."

"Told you Sammy."

Sam smiled and shut his eyes.

"Wanna go to sleep now Dean..."

"Okay little brother, think you need a bed for that though."

"No...wanna stay here."

"Alright," despite the smell, and how tight the bathroom was with the both of them in it, Dean stayed sat right beside his brother until he fell asleep on his shoulder. He dragged his snoring little brother back to the bedroom and left the trash can at the side of his bed as he tucked him in.

"Love ya two Sammy," Dean whispered getting into his own bed and turning on the TV, he decided on Baywatch tonight...no matter how hot Smurfette was, The Smurfs were off limits from now on.

**The End.**


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